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  • Rebecca Szmidt

Be happy: Remember to take time for you this holiday season

Updated: Nov 29, 2017

Tis the season for so much fun with friends, family, coworkers, etc. Seriously it is the best and my favorite time of year! However, it can also be a little exhausting and least for me. Therefore, I thought this would be a really great time to share this post with others who may be similar to me to hopefully help out with preventing any unhappiness that may result or build up over time.

A little Background about Me

Not sure about you, but I love to be around people and stay busy, but at the same time I am also one of those people who requires time to myself. So what I have learned over time is that I am an extrovert and introvert. With this being said, I am also one who really hates to say no to people, kind of a perfectionist and control freak; PLUS I can sometimes have completely unrealistic expectations I set up for myself (AKA I am never fully satisfied because I set myself up for it with my unrealistic expectations).

  • For example, I remember when my husband and I bought our first home; we had also been married for about a year at this time, ha ha. For whatever reason, I felt that when ever anyone (family, stranger, whoever) came over or stayed with us, that our house needed to be PERFECT (whatever that really is?!?!) in my crazy head.

  • That first year was so stressful on me because of all the unrealistic expectations and pressure I put on myself. I was always "quick cleaning" or freaking out and stressed over our guests as a result of ME when I should have just been like: hey guys sorry if our home isn't perfect; we are human, we work full time jobs, we live here, we are not rich, okay but not rich by any means, so welcome. The linens and room and bath are fresh and cleaned for your stay. We are so happy to see you and spend time with you. Which is really what it's all about anyways, right?

There are so many more examples I could write, but I'll spare you. Anyways, over the last maybe two years I think, I just made the decision that I was over myself. I was so completely over the pressure. I just sat in my closet, this is where I go to be alone, one day and decided: I don't care about this unimportant crap anymore. I just want to be happy, healthy and live. I accept myself and my flaws, but I am not going to let it stress me out anymore. I have my issues and that is completely and totally OKAY! It is what it is.

Now, don't get me wrong, I do find myself battling my awesomeness monthly, weekly, even daily, ha ha. The difference NOW is once I find myself getting worked up or heading in the direction I actually do not want to be heading emotionally for me, I have learned to just stop and remove myself from the triggers, if possible, and just breathe as well as sit and try to look at the full picture. It is not a quick fix by any means. Sometimes, it can take a while. In these cases, I usually try to sleep it off and start fresh the next day.

Whats the Point here?

I am not writing this post to say anyone needs to change who they are or oh its easy just don't worry, la la. Not worrying for me is the HARDEST thing I have ever tried and still try to do. Personality characteristics/behaviors are extremely difficult to change.

  • The point of my writing this post is to try to help others by letting you know that you are not alone or wrong or bad in the way you act or feel I guess. I know for me another issue was feeling bad about how I felt or guilty for acting or feeling certain ways; like something was or is wrong with me. Then I realized: It is okay to be who I am and feel how I feel. We are all works in progress as far as I am concerned and all different. The problem I found for myself and why I wanted to address this, is that I was making myself miserable and I do not think anyone should live this way.

  • The other reason for sharing this information is to let others know that for me at least, the best thing I have learned and am still working on everyday is just letting go of the "little" or unimportant stuff that at the end of the day you sit back and ask yourself, does this even matter or will it matter in a year or 5 years? For me, I have usually found that whether my house was "perfect" or not, totally doesn't matter as much as I made it matter.

Wrapping it Up Already

To sum up, since I learned to accept ME and for ME as well as chosen to be happy by letting go of some things, I have realized I am so much happier and I think even more fun to be around. And if my learning experience(s) can help even one person at all I am happy to share.


Image: From my Instagram

This is me yesterday, 11.27.17, in between meetings at work. I started to feel overwhelmed from the busy weekend and upcoming month, so rather than being miserable and mad at myself, I decided to just take a few moments away from everything and just be. I NEVER do this during my work day and it made such a difference. I only sat there, alone, for 5 or 10 minutes; but, I felt so at peace during and after.

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