31 Things to Remove From Your Life To Be Happier
Updated: Feb 15, 2018
Happy Valentine’s Day & Wednesday all! I wasn’t planning to post today, but then I saw this brief article on Popsugar and wanted to share. As I have posted many times before, I am always looking for ways to just be happy and self-acceptance and self-love too, so I read this article and felt you know this is so spot on. (for me at least) Especially this month; for whatever reason I have just kind of been down on myself and feeling just blah. I think it may be the weather; Jan. and Feb. are usually gloomy and blah. The article is called “Removing These 31 Things From Your Life Will Make You Happier and More Successful” and I am guilty of doing all 31 things that need to be removed…surprise surprise.
Check out their list and my thoughts/experiences/advice on them below. ;)
Comparing yourself to others – Guilty. I don’t know about you, but for me I think this is unfortunately natural tendency for people. The thing I have tried to be conscious of when I find myself do this is that there are so many variables at play and things going on with everyone and everything that we don’t even have a clue about. So rather than get mad or down or jealous, I try to just say, good for them and then think about how blessed I am. Dorky I know. But it does help.
Creating unrealistic expectations for yourself – So guilty of this. I used to always do this. Fortunately, I have started to get better about resisting the urge to set unrealistic expectations for myself and others anymore. It is hard, but at the end of the day you have to just realize: NOTHING IS PERFECT & THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY. Perfect example, pictures on Instagram. As I have said before, nothing is as it appears to be. Those pictures take a lot of time to prep and stage, even your basic selfie.
Your social media obsession – Way too guilty of this. Read my thoughts on 1 & 2 for this.
Bad spending habits – My life story here…guilty and lots of guilt on this subject. Do yourself a favor; do not ever get a credit card unless you really need it or unless you are strong enough to not run it up. I have been in and am still getting out of some credit card debt and it is the worst stress ever! It truly does make you unhappy in the end.
Fear of the Unknown – Oh yeah that’s me. I used to be much worse, especially back in school and my early twenties I seriously let this stress me out. Word of advice for someone who spent a lot of time stress the unknown as well as change: DON’T. It’s not worth it. Honestly, most of the time, everything will be alright. Not perfect, so don’t set yourself up for disappoint with #2.
Living in the past – Guilty. This goes along with #27: Resisting change. Guess what? Things change. Nothing remains the same. People change, technology and the world change. Everything changes overtime. The past is the past. You CAN’T change something that happened in the past. You just can’t. Trust me, I wish I could change some things I did or have done. Seriously though, for me I used to try to do this and it is such a waste of precious time. The only things I recommend are learning from your past or the past and always look forward and live in the moment. Cheesy I know, but it’s totally how I feel these days and as I get older.
Putting off a vacation – Everyone needs a break. This goes along with number 10: waiting for the perfect moment. Nothing is ever perfect! Now, some timing for things I do feel makes a difference; like not going into debt for a vacation or personal or professional commitments, etc. But don’t put life on hold for unrealistic expectations of perfect timing and moments.
Your packed schedule – I used to stay busy all the time and it about caused me to have a mental breakdown. For real. I love doing things, but I am one of the people who also need downtime. If you are like me, you get it and totally recognize the benefit of this. If you are like my husband, he doesn’t require or used to think he didn’t need downtime, seriously try it. My husband had and now he appreciates not have a packed schedule all the time. At least I think he does. ;)
Unhealthy relationships – Oh boy if I had a quarter for every time I should have gotten out of these. Been there, done that, and will never tolerate unhealthy relationships ever again. Seriously, toxic friends or lovers or just people in your life can ruin you.
Waiting for the perfect moment – Read #7, #2 and just know there is no perfect moment or perfect.
The need to be in control of everything – OMG guilty. I used to be such a control freak. Seriously, not joking. These ties together with #5 and #27. Let me just say this, once you realize that you cannot control everything and that nothing is perfect and change is not always bad, you will be so much happier and healthier. For real. Your stress level will decrease tremendously. You will have more fun and start living.
Relying on others to make you feel happy and fulfilled – All I can stress here is this: learn to love yourself and be alright with being alone. Embrace alone time. Seriously that’s all I can say. I honestly feel I have been fortunate enough to not be as guilty in this area as some of the others; I have still be guilty here though don’t get me wrong. The issue I find with relying on others for anything, is that for me at least, I tend to create those unrealistic expectations and then find myself disappointed with the person when they don’t live up to them. I am the same way with myself and unrealistic expectations.
Avoiding getting out of the house – Guilty. So guilty. Just ask my mom and husband. I swear, I have always been the type to not want to do things. I think sometimes it’s due to fear of failure or looking stupid, but I also think I am just lazy at times too. Please don’t be like me here. I have always found that when I have made myself do something and leave the house, I am so glad I did. Even if I did fail. Guess what? It was OKAY. Now, with this being said, it’s ok and good to turn things down too if you know or feel you need to. Self-care and downtime remember? All important and a balancing act.
Your need to have the best things - Plain and simple here: No, you don’t. Trust me, I have been there (remember the credit card debt?). No don’t get me wrong, quality of things is important, but for a lot of things, you don’t need the best of the best. For example, handbags. I love handbags. I also love trends and super high quality handbags. I like the brands and idea of them. That’s nice, but in reality, I have also learned that I like variety and I only make so much money. So, do I really need to drop $500+ on a handbag that I honestly will use one season maybe two and that will likely get ruined by me using it daily? I think no. Definitely no. Honestly, when I do have the expensive items I am so nervous and paranoid to actually use them I avoid using them. Where is the fun in that?! Now, if you can afford it, more power to you and go for. I live on a budget so that’s me.
Your hesitation to indulge – I am very guilty of this. I wish I wasn’t but totally am. I am working on it though and I think I am making progress. It’s a conscious effort/decision, but I think it is definitely necessary to be happy and live in the moment. Within reason of course.
Feeling sorry for yourself – Yep been there/here. Again for me I think this goes with #1, #2 and #19 & #22.
Fear of failure – GUILTY! This also goes with my thoughts from #5: Fear of the Unknown. I am so guilty of this even now. Nobody likes to fail, but failure is a part of learning and living. I know for me, making mistakes and failing are best way I learn at times. I don’t always like it, but it happens a lot.
Grudges – Oh boy I am majorly guilty here. I wish I wasn’t but I am. I am one of those people who doesn’t forget and I also will cut you out of my life and not look back if you cross me in a really wrong way. I wish I wasn’t this way, and I am working on this poor quality I have. Therefore, since I know what it’s like to hold a grudge, I totally agree with this being on the list. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing and again, nothing and no one is perfect. I am still working on this one. I can forgive mistakes and 1x mishaps, my issues are when people continuous repeat the same mistakes and mishaps as well as if they are just mean to others. I do not tolerate meanness and rudeness well at all; I just don’t understand the point of it. Oh well. I am still a work in progress, you know?
Worrying what others think of you – For me, this is a difficult one. I am not going to lie here, but I am always so envious or #22 on this list, of people who just don’t care about what other people think. I wish I could not care. Life would be so much easier I feel. I used to be extremely self-conscious for the longest time and still have times now when I am. For example, I was so worried about what people would think and say about me blogging. I felt so embarrassed when I would share my blog posts on FB and Instagram. I felt like no one would read it or they would say how stupid I am/was or it’s terrible; honestly, people may think and say this, but I decided I don’t care anymore. I enjoy it and so why not. Another tip for me to keep my blogging fun, while I do track analytics for my site, I don’t look at them. I feel like once I care too much, the fun is taken away for me. I will say, as I have gotten older, I have learned to love myself and accept myself as I am which has also made me care less what other think. However, I still care. I think it’s okay and natural to care, but don’t let your self-worth and happiness be dependent on it. Ties back in with #12 I feel.
Your disorganized lifestyle – For me totally! In my world, disorganized=stress=unhappy Rebecca.
Controlling others – Goes with #11 for me.
Jealously – This for me goes with #1. Jealously is just toxic. Totally will make you unhappy.
Blaming others for your mistakes – I have done this sometimes, but I also fess up too because I feel really guilty blaming or lying. Double edged sword I guess. I am also pretty open about making mistakes; again how we learn and everyone makes mistakes.
A yearning to fit in – For me goes with #1, #12 and #19.
Over-analyzing situations – GUILTY! I don’t know, sometimes I think this is just a gender thing? Anyone else? Maybe the hormones are to blame? (#23?) LOL But, yep this makes me super miserable when I do it. I really try hard not to, but haven’t completely conquered this yet…
Friends who aren’t there for you – Been there and learned this the hard way. Not worth it. Goes back to #9.
Resisting change – This goes with #5 & #6. Everything changes; nothing we can do about it.
Being afraid to be yourself – Guilty! Goes with #19 for me.
Holding onto items you don’t need - Yep, been there. I still do this at times and am making progress toward not doing it. I honestly do agree with this. Just got to keep working on it.
Avoiding your problems – So very guilty of this. Somehow though, they will catch up with you. L Oh and while you are on the run, you are stressed and unhappy; at least I am/was.
Worrying about missing out - Guilty. It's funny because while I sometimes have to make myself do things and fear failure or the unknown at times, I am always in the back of my head so afraid I may miss out on something great that could happen too? Then I am so worried about this, I get moody and unhappy. Ha. Wow. Funny how that works.
As always, feel free to comment and/or message your thoughts and feedback as well as tips you may have. :)
Again, happy Valentine's Day!
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